Chapter 47
The silent baby.
(Anna)
“It will happen.” Eliza tells me as she lifts a crying Thomas from my arms. He won’t feed from me; I just
can’t seem to get him totch. It swear if one more person tells me it’s perfectly normal. I might start
getting stabby. I watch with resentment as Eliza puts a bottle to Thoma s’s mouth and he starts
suckling like he’s being starved.
“There is something wrong with me.” I wipe at the tears rolling down. my face as Eliza sits on the end of
the hospital bed.
“No there isn’t. You just need practice: I’ve seen loads of females go through this.” Eliza tells me as she
starts to rock Thomas gently from side to side, she’s barely moving but I can see his eyes starting to
close.
“How do you know how to do that?” I ask her, amazed.
“I’m part of a big family and an even bigger pack. You pick up a trick or two surrounded by all those
females.” This is the first time Eliza has mentioned her family to me or her pack, she’s so closed off
after everything my brother did to her. “I think Fraction will be back soon, he ran out of here shouting
something about babies needing nkets.” Iugh at Eliza’s words.
“It’s been a shock to the system for both of us. Neither of us got to truly enjoy the pregnancy before
Thomas was here. No one taught me how to do this, what if I destroy him? What if he grows up to be a
giant ball of anxiety like me?” I whisper my fears into myp knowing Eliza heard me.
“Are you nning on going somewhere?” I shake my head at her with
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wide eyes, “then you have all the help you need. Venture out of that pack house and I bet there is a
horde of females dying to help the new Luna.” I smile at her words.
“Are you staying?” I have wanted to ask for a while, but I didn’t know how to broach the topic. Eliza
sighs, handing Thomas back to me.
“I don’t know. Did Rick tell you he’s, my mate?” I shake my head no: I sort of knew but I’ve been in my
own head a lottely. “He wants me to stay here but honestly I can’t see ever wanting a man to touch
me again.”
“I get that. As much as I adore Fraction, the mere thought of his touch sent me into a panic when I got
back. I can only imagine what it’s like for you having been there for so long.” I tell Eliza trying to show
her I understand her feelings.
“How did you get past it?” She asks me in a small voice.
“I will let you know when I do.” I give her a small smile, “one day at a time.”
“Sound advice if you ask me.” Momma Beth says from the doorway, “sorrydies I couldn’t wait any
longer.” She strolls confidently over to the side of the bed and holds her hands out. Gently, so I don’t
wake Thomas, I hand him over. “Oooooe to mama.”
“Mama?” I ask her with a little giggle.
“My right to choose until he can talk. Oh, what a beauty.” The love shining off Momma Beth’s face is
addictive; I can’t help but smile along with her.
“He won’t feed Momma.” Momma Beth looks up at me with sad eyes.
“He’s nottching?” She asks me in a soft voice. I shake my head no.
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I told her 11
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says
bed.
“I agree. When he is ready, he will, just remember babies can feel what we are feeling. So, if you are
anxious and worried, he will feel it.” Momma Beth says as she looks down at Thomas. “He looks well
so he’s not starving. Bottles will do him no harm even if it’s for the long term.”
“You sure?” I’m worried that all the baby books say breasts are best.
“Fraction was bottle fed; he wouldn’ttch. And he has grown into a perfectly fine man, don’t believe
everything you read. Babies can’t be scripted Anna. Just follow your gut and you can’t go wrong. You
might think you can’t do this but trust me, you can.” I smile at her: Momma Beth has a knack for
offering great advice just when you need it most.
“I think we should like them to get some sleep, it’s been a long day. Eliza says to us both. Momma Beth
nods and ces Thomas next to
me.
“Thanks guys.” I whisper as they walk out of the room, closing the door behind them.
I watch as Thomas pumps his little fists into the air and then settles into a peaceful sleep. He looks so
Content bel0ngs to N?vel(D)r/a/ma.Org.
soft, and I can’t help but think I am going to mess him up somehow, it’s not like I have a strong parental
guide to work on. I suppose Fraction will have to take the lead on this. one. It’s then that I realise
Fraction has been gone most of the day, just as I am about to reach out to him over the bond the door
opens, and he walks into the room.
“Sorry Little Wolf.” I went to get this. Fractiones over to Thomas and carefullyys a baby blue
nket over Thoma s’s lower half.
“What’s this?” I reach out touching the nket, I thought it would be
The silent baby
208 Vouchers
rough and scratchy but it’s actually soft like a feather.
“It was my baby nket.” Fraction smiles down at Thomas. I watch as he walks around the bed and
climbs on behind me. “Ready for a nap, Little Wolf?” I nod my head as I feel my eyes closing, leaning
my head back into his chest I let his heartbeat settle me into sleep.
?Fraction)
I wake with a jolt; Thomas is awake and just chilling next to Anna. Carefully getting off the bed, I try not
to wake Anna. She just birthed my son; she deserves some rest. As I walk around the bed, I can’t help
but notice how beautiful Anna looksid next to Thomas. She isid on her side so her arm is sort of
resting next to Thomas, she looks like she can grab him at any second even though she’s in a deep
sleep.
“Hey little guy.” I coo at Thomas as I carefully pick him up, careful to cradle his head I settle him into my
arms. With one arm under his head and one under his tiny butt I start walking back and forth along the
room.
“I’m you daddy, I’m the one who is always going to be here for you. One day I will teach you all about
running the pack and how to talk to women. Me and you are always going to be best friends.” I speak in
a low voice; I want to talk to Thomas, but I don’t want to wake Anna. Thomas watches me with tiny blue
eyes, they are so much like Anna’s it’s actually amazing how this tiny person can hold aspects of both
of us. I can already see his nose is going to be like mine and something tells me he’s going to have my
face shape too. Other than his looks just like me in my mother’s baby picture books.
eyes
he
I keep walking as Thomas stuffs his tiny fist into his mouth and starts suckling. “You hungry? Let’s get
you a bottle.” Walking over to the small counter I start to prepare a bottle, Anna doesn’t like that he
won’t feed from her. I think she sees it as a failing on her side, I sent my mother in to reassure her
earlier but I’m not certain it worked.
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The silent baby
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Breastfed or bottle fed, it won’t change how much he is loved.
As soon as I lift the bottle to Th oma s’s little pouting mouth hetches on and starts suckling for all
he’s worth. “He’s going to suck the te at right off that.” Anna’s soft voice reaches my ear. Looking up I
see her in the same ce but with her eyes open.
“Go back to sleep, Little Wolf.” I whisper as I sit on the chair to continue feeding Thomas.
“I wish he would feed from me.” I hear the sadness in her voice.
“Doctor Lee said you can keep trying, at least with the bottle I can support you on feeds.” I watch as
she smiles at me, and her eyes flutter closed. “Mummy is going to sleep.” I whisper to Thomas.
Thomas blinks his little eyes up at me and keeps suckling, he’s a little strange for a new born. He
hasn’t cried yet which I find concerning, what if there is something wrong? I haven’t mentioned it to
Anna because she has enough to worry about right now. I think once I have some time alone, I will do
some reading about why he’s not crying ortching onto the breast. Tho ma s’s suckling starts to slow,
and his eyes start to close, as he drifts back off to sleep, I lean back in the chair and just watch him
sleep.