"I know," Calliope said, ncing at Ss. "I just feel so bad for them, you know? It took them so much to finally be together, and now... it all ended so quickly. Lance must be hurting so much."
"He can''t bear to say goodbye to Hudson," Ss replied softly. "It''s always the ones left behind who suffer most."
Ss''s voice trembled a little. He looked up at Calliope. "He''ll get through it. Someday, maybe decades from now, they''ll meet again. This is just a temporary goodbye."
Calliope wiped her tears and tried to pull herself together. She started taking care of all the things that needed to be handled.
Lance, for his part, managed to keep it together. After spending a long time with Hudson, and with everyone''s help, he finally let them take Hudson to the funeral home.
They called everyone who needed to know. People started to show up, one after another.
Hudson never had a huge circle of friends, but he''d made sure everything was in ce to make things easier for Lance.
Calliope and Ss stayed by Lance''s side, helping however they could.
Lance barely left Hudson''s side, just sitting there and staring at him. He looked calm on the surface, but it was the kind of calm thates from beingpletely shattered inside.
Hudson had told him it was okay to be sad for a few days.
But is grief ever something you can just switch off?
Calliope didn''t know how tofort Lance. She was mourning, too. They''d both been her friends for years. One of them was gone now, and it hurt. All she could do was sit next to Lance, listening to him ramble on and on about all the memories he''d shared with Hudson.
He''d startughing at some story, then, halfway through, would break down in tears.
People kepting to pay their respects.
Lance didn''t want to talk to anyone, so Ss took care of it all, handling everything with quiet grace. People came and went, but with Ss there, Calliope and Lance didn''t have to worry about anything. They kept their silent vigil by Hudson''s side. They stayed up all night, burning candles and sharing stories, a bit like a wake with coffee and pie, the way Hudson would''ve wanted.
Lance didn''t really cry, not at first.
It wasn''t until the next day, when it was time for the cremation, that something inside him just snapped. He screamed and fought and sobbed so hard nobody could hold him back.
"You promised you''d stay with me forever!"
“Hudson, you said you''d take care of me for the rest of our lives. How can you just leave?"
"How am I supposed to go on by myself? I can''t do this alone!"
"Hudson!"
"Come back to me! Please, juste back!"
"I don''t want to let you go, I don''t want to burn what''s left. I can''t stand not having you here!"
"Why couldn''t it have been me? Do you know how scared I am? I''m terrified without you. If only it had been me instead I wouldn''t even know what I''m missing, right?" s
"You always worried about me. Why couldn''t you have stayed? Why couldn''t you have let me go instead?"
Lance''s grief poured out in wild, desperate sobs.
Calliope stayed close, holding his
bet
arm, not saying a word. She let him cry, let him scream let him pour everything out. s
He cried for a long, long time.<fn59f8> Read full story at find?novel</fn59f8>
Finally, she spoke, her voice soft but firm. ce, that''s enough. Hudson
you to be good, remember?
It''s time for him to gets times up."
s
Lance''s cries faded to quiet whimpers. He slumped to the ground, watching as Hudson was taken away.
Calliope sat beside him, holding his hand.
Ss was a short distance away, handling thest of the arrangements.
At the burial, Lance didn''t cry anymore. He forced himself to hold back the tears.
"You told me not to cry for too long, that it''d make me look awful. So I''m not going to cry anymore."
"Hudson, wait for me, okay? I promise I''ll find you someday."
"Don''t you dare run off with anyone else. You have to wait just for me!"
Lance sat by Hudson''s headstone, leaning against it like he was leaning into his arms onest time.